Third Couch

I've moved on to another friend's couch. Friend number three is not charging me but I can't stay long. What to do? My parents want me to come home. I would be fed, live rent free and enjoy my parent's company. However they live in the country and I would not have access to a car. I could ride with my parents in the morning but with their work schedules, I only job I could probably find is something in stingy hospitality. Screw that. I've paid my 6 year dues to the hospitality world. I'm not yet that desperate.

I have the money to rent a new place but the trouble is finding one. I had found a great place with cool chicks and their cute little doggies but they neglected to tell their landlord about a new roomie. It ended up being a no go situation. I'm confident SOMETHING will turn up. Argh!

Visa in Hand

I applied for and received my Australian work and holiday visa in less than 12 hours! Compared to French migration, this seems like a cakewalk.

The Housing Search

I would argue that Washington more expensive than Paris for poor people with budgets.

Toodles Mon Coeur

Goodbye Paris! Hello Australia!

Paris, I love you. The decision to move is nothing personal. In fact it's thanks to your enticements that I've made this choice. You gave me him. Randomly.

I doubt he and I would have met if we both hadn't been poor and (nearly) homeless. We responded to the same ad for an anglophone flatmate. I thought he was silly. He giggled a lot. Three months later we were casually dating. Eleven months later I've decided to hop on a plane for the other side of the world to be with him AND have a new adventure.

Paris it's because of you. Thanks and à très bientôt!

Moving Forward

There was an explosion of hurt, timidity, pain, passion and fear.

I love you!

He said it. He said three words I never expected him say. He said 'I love you."

I believe him. I cannot doubt him anymore. I've jumped off my cliff of indecision. I'm moving to Australia.

You're wrong

Dear NY Times travel,

The Marais is overrun with tourists. Oberkampf and Belleville are where it's at. Trust me.

Much love,
Izzy.

We Need to Talk

We need to talk baby. I'm not sure how committed you are to this whole me-moving-around-the-world-to-be-with-you thing. Sure you offered to pay for my ticket. You've said that you would LOVE LOVE LOVE for me to come. But have you honestly thought about this? Your freedom would be gone. You would go from social butterfly bachelor to committed boyfriend(?). Go from sleeping around to just sleeping with me. I worry that you like the thought of us rather than the practice. I worry that I will make all the sacrifices (I would still have an awesome time in Oz, but being away from friends, when you're dumped and broken-hearted, would suck). I worry that I will become Natalie or Anais. Natalie was deceived. Anais held on to shadows.

Sometimes I worry that you're addicted to sex. You once told me that the longest you could make it without sex was 9 days. You've also made it clear that you've never cheated on a girlfriend (if Natalie doesn't count). Hmm. Honestly, I think you're not trying. If I asked that you stopped sleeping with others before I arrived, would you? I'm not sure that you're ready to give sex up. Is that asking too much? You once said that my laid-back attitude made it easy for you to see others. My laid-backness hasn't changed but I want something tangible from you. How much is too much to ask?

Are you ready for me? How bad do you want me? Do I hold your attention above all the other fish in the sea? Are you done fishing? I want you all to myself. I won't accept another open relationship. I want you.

Coupledom?

If you were on the brink of moving across the world to be with your lover, what kind of commitment would you demand?

Those Grey Lines

At what point do you tell your boss he is wrong?

I am a young female. While I have a head on my shoulders, I tend to be more timid than my male counterparts. I don't want to be labeled "bitch," "know-it-all," or "haughty." Bosses scare me. I really should get over it.

I had never been a private consultant before. I'm still not sure what private consultants actually do. Basically I was a data entry temp. At $10/hr. I also did academic and public policy research and had to do stats. SPSS kicked my butt. When they asked me to translate French to English, I said no probs mobs but you're going to have to pay me extra for that. The translation was 6000 words. I ended up with only $.08 a word. AND it was English to French. French is NOT my native language. They got a great deal.

Anyway, so my boss gave me some screwed up statistics to work with. Apparently the United States is part of Europe and 10 million Syrians are yearly leaving home. I discretely tried to tell him. No response. Nothing. Oh, and I was explicitly told to use ONLY the statistical information he provided.

He received the results of my research based on his statistics Monday. He flipped. Good thing I was never hired (in fact they never interviewed me but that's another story) because I think I may have been fired. Opps.

I learned a lot guys, thanks! Do you tell all your private consultants that work contracts aren't necessary? I will never make that mistake again. Please pay me!!!

Study Abroad Application Essay

March 29, 2005


"As a student, I realize the impact studying abroad will have on my academic and personal career. Academically, studying abroad will encourage mental growth and exploration while helping me grasp another language and culture. Personally, I will develop skills and global understanding that will help establish rapport in my personal life, as well as among my peers as I pursue my proposed career path. Paris is an incredible city. I look forward to studying in this international metropolitan area while expanding my mind amid the numerous amazing happenings I will undoubtedly experience."

Paris IS an incredible city. It bit into me like a pit bull, wrecking havoc on the skin of my perfect life. ...And those "numerous amazing happenings." Wow. I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, changed career paths, considered radical catholism, and fell head over heels for a cul benit. What fun! Luckily the cul benit thing was one sided as was the catholic zeal. It was time to cut the boyfriend strings. I don't regret the dumpage. Actually both of my significant others were cut off the Zarrouati umbilical cord while in Paris, albeit during different tours. Hmm.

Yes kids, Paris will shake up your life. If only I had known how much....

Stupid Bus

I missed my bus home. Stupid bus.

As we were leaving Union Station, a street preacher yelled in our direction: "Jesus will save you from your sins!" Thanks bud. Somehow my version of 'go and tell the world' does not include yelling at cars.

Must shower. My skin is crawling.

They're Paying Me

I am getting paid to research. I love research like a fat kid like cake. Speaking of cake, I finished off an entire a lovely box mix this morning. Nothing quite like funfetti.

I cannot believe that I ate the entire cake. Similarly, I can't believe that the Big Brain is paying me to think. My brain and stomach are fried. Oh gosh.

To My Lover Who is Sleeping with Others

Normality is not my strong suit. My parents are born-again conversative hippies who grow and hunt their food. I didn't grow up with TV. Thus pop culture references pre-2002 are usually over my head. Sorry but I do not know the words to that Madonna song you're screaming. No, I have no desire to learn them.

What else? I'm missing a joint in my left foot. I was semi-excommunicated from my childhood church. I like bugs. I always thought my romantic life would be like a great novel. In fact, it is. While I had anticipated Jane Austen, it seems that life has other notions. You be the judge.

What does this have to do with my lover? His name is Sam. He is sleeping with other women. He hasn't said so but I expect it. Not because he should, but because he can. We are merely lovers. We live worlds apart. Normal people would move on. At least I hope, for their sake, that they would turn their backs, thank the heavens for the happy times then walk away.

To my lover: I love you. I’m willing to be crazy. I'm willing to bare it all. The misery I felt when I left you in Paris will probably be pebbles in comparison to our twisted future. But at least I can say I tried. I loved.

Life Lessons

Rule #1: No one looks after your interests quite like you. Wasn't there a basic economic principle of self-interest?

Rule #2: Say what you want/desire. Internalizing is for the birds.

Rule #3: Love can be powerful but think twice before buying that plane ticket. He may never pay you back.

Rule #4: Short term means under three months. This is applicable to a myriad of circumstances.

Rule #5: Be flexible.

Rule #6: Karma exists. Practice the Golden Rule or else.

Rule #7: Love. Forgive. Move on. But remember that these things must be done daily.

Rule #8: Lack of vision precedes boredom and/or death.

Rule #9: Interested in someone as a lover/friend/business partner? Watch how she treats the world around her. You truly know people by their actions.

Rule #10: Don't let the heartless Mofos take you down.

My life is a good story. I don't always follow these rules but I definitely should. Although if I had always played it safe, I wouldn't be where I am today: a perpetual couchsurfer with wanderlust and little money. Amen.