There are tons of should haves. I have lots of should haves at the moment. Some say that you should live with no regret. While I agree in principle with this statement, I think it's hard not to look back at events, times, people or places without reflecting on what could have been done better. How could I have been a better person at a particular point in time? What might be a better way next time? How can I change/improve who I am and who I will be compared to who I used to be? So many questions. I think I have some answers for me. It took loads of self reflection. Sometimes the mirror reflects good things, incredible things. Sometimes the mirror reflects ill will or fear. Often the mirror reflects my innate silliness.
In any case, life is beautiful. Today is what you make of it. Although tomorrow is promised to no one, there is always faith, hope and love - the sum of perfection on earth. I have hope and a plan.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Monday, June 13, 2011
Confessions
Went grocery shopping. Spent $228 on groceries for two. $13 for 8 kg of bird feed. Spent $1485 on a ticket to Southeast Asia. Am planning on only taking a carry on bag.
I watched two episodes of Doctor Who last night. I slept until 11, called my parents and then went back to bed for a nap. I de-cobwebbed the exterior of house. The neighbors love to watch us. I believe we're exceeding their expectations.
Exams tomorrow for some us. The elitist in me wants to get an advanced degree just to shut up those who look down on just having a BA degree. The rationalist in me thinks people are stupid.
I watched two episodes of Doctor Who last night. I slept until 11, called my parents and then went back to bed for a nap. I de-cobwebbed the exterior of house. The neighbors love to watch us. I believe we're exceeding their expectations.
Exams tomorrow for some us. The elitist in me wants to get an advanced degree just to shut up those who look down on just having a BA degree. The rationalist in me thinks people are stupid.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
On Idiots and Internet
This is what I'm going to do: I'm going to combine my blogs. I'm narcissistic enough to want to start blogging again. I've switched between wanting to be anonymous to wanting the world(!) to know my name and then back to wanting to be anonymous. I also tried a pen name. Who is Izzy Zarrouati anyway? For now I've decided to be content with just getting words on a screen. It doesn't matter too much if the reader knows who I am or not. I don't blog about work or other silly (eg hot button) issues. I'm not too idiotic and I expect whatever I write to stay on the net indefinitely.
I endorse bread and typos. I blame France. This is my narrative.
I endorse bread and typos. I blame France. This is my narrative.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Nylon
You know that sound that nylon fabric makes when you rub two pieces of it together? It's an unmistakable sound. We heard that sound last night coming from the sheets. Odd thought we. We shut off the computers and any other electronic laying around. Still the noise persisted. We peeled back the covers one by one. Nothing there. We shook the covers. Nothing flew out. We listened to our stomachs. No audible noises. And then suddenly a long fat beetle with inch long antennas appeared. He made a noise that sounds like rubbing two pieces of nylon fabric together. So now we know and so do you.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Name Change & Bias
Apparently my last name isn't good enough. Apparently certain people in certain organisations believe Anglo is best. Apparently this ISN'T a country of immigrants (and convicts). I've been told in hush hush gossipy tones that perhaps I should use Sam's names instead of my own.
'Employers have negative opinions of foreign sounding names.' 'Asian sounding names are often automatically disqualified.' 'Sad but it's how things are.' 'People just assume that you don't have the right to work here.' '[Sam's last name] would probably be better received than Zarraouti.' Gah! Are we not in a supposedly modern world?
I know I know, life is not all buttercups and pansies. We are all, a la Avenue Q, a little bit racist. We are all ignorant bits of carbon. We as a society are stupid (more often than not). It's just that I didn't think I'd be given this kind of advice. I mean it's one thing to be judged for being American but it's a totally different ballgame if well meaning people are telling me to change my last name for fear that I might be considered.... Considered what exactly? Considered non-white when I'm white? Considered unfit for a position because I may be Asian or African or Martian? Considered not well-spoken or well-dressed or well-groomed?
All that being said, I am not changing my name. I am not changing who I am nor my family history so that some HR person can then decide that I'm all right because I am something that I may or may not be. Amen.
The job hunt otherwise goes well.
'Employers have negative opinions of foreign sounding names.' 'Asian sounding names are often automatically disqualified.' 'Sad but it's how things are.' 'People just assume that you don't have the right to work here.' '[Sam's last name] would probably be better received than Zarraouti.' Gah! Are we not in a supposedly modern world?
I know I know, life is not all buttercups and pansies. We are all, a la Avenue Q, a little bit racist. We are all ignorant bits of carbon. We as a society are stupid (more often than not). It's just that I didn't think I'd be given this kind of advice. I mean it's one thing to be judged for being American but it's a totally different ballgame if well meaning people are telling me to change my last name for fear that I might be considered.... Considered what exactly? Considered non-white when I'm white? Considered unfit for a position because I may be Asian or African or Martian? Considered not well-spoken or well-dressed or well-groomed?
All that being said, I am not changing my name. I am not changing who I am nor my family history so that some HR person can then decide that I'm all right because I am something that I may or may not be. Amen.
The job hunt otherwise goes well.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Moving House and Thanksgiving
Happy almost Thanksgiving! I'm uber excited about Thanksgiving this year. There's going to be a 6kg Turkey, two quail and a chicken on this year's menu. I've also invited over 40 people to celebrate with us. The house and yard are big enough to accommodate everyone, so I'm not worried at all about overcrowding the house. It should be a good time.
On other topics, we're moving houses. The landlord is selling our current house, so we've had to find Canberra home #3. Third house has velvet wallpaper! It's a huge sharehouse and we have part of the house to ourselves. There's some risk, but the pros seem to outweigh the cons and the truth is that one can never be absolutely certain about anything, so in we move! I'll miss house #2. It was nice while it lasted.
On other topics, we're moving houses. The landlord is selling our current house, so we've had to find Canberra home #3. Third house has velvet wallpaper! It's a huge sharehouse and we have part of the house to ourselves. There's some risk, but the pros seem to outweigh the cons and the truth is that one can never be absolutely certain about anything, so in we move! I'll miss house #2. It was nice while it lasted.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Magpies
I'd been warned about the magpies. Sunday night the boy and I were swooped a few times. We picked up some tree branches and swatted the birds away. My tree branch had ants on it. Some of the ants ended up in my jeans. I thought the ants were a worse annoyance than the birds.
Monday was a holiday in Oz. We decided to do a 15 kilometer bike ride to a friends' house. On the way there a magpie swooped. I batted it away. It swooped from the other side. I batted it away again but in doing so, I lost control of my bike and hit the curb. Apparently I looked like superman flying through the air. A car stopped. A concerned guy, who saw my amazing flying skills, got out. Sam realized I wasn't there and came back for me. The two of them made sure I was all right. I was a bit dazed. There were tears. My shoulder hurt but I decided to be a trooper and to prove to Sam that I'm tough cookie. We biked the rest of the way and ended up having a lovely afternoon playing board games. I kept ice on my arm though, because it hurt. Yeah, it hurt.
That hurt didn't go away though. Turns out that I ripped some muscles off my shoulder. Oppsy. I'm writing this post with my right hand alone. I'm awkwardly sitting on one butt cheek because my other cheek is sore. I have impressive bruises. I hate magpies.
Monday was a holiday in Oz. We decided to do a 15 kilometer bike ride to a friends' house. On the way there a magpie swooped. I batted it away. It swooped from the other side. I batted it away again but in doing so, I lost control of my bike and hit the curb. Apparently I looked like superman flying through the air. A car stopped. A concerned guy, who saw my amazing flying skills, got out. Sam realized I wasn't there and came back for me. The two of them made sure I was all right. I was a bit dazed. There were tears. My shoulder hurt but I decided to be a trooper and to prove to Sam that I'm tough cookie. We biked the rest of the way and ended up having a lovely afternoon playing board games. I kept ice on my arm though, because it hurt. Yeah, it hurt.
That hurt didn't go away though. Turns out that I ripped some muscles off my shoulder. Oppsy. I'm writing this post with my right hand alone. I'm awkwardly sitting on one butt cheek because my other cheek is sore. I have impressive bruises. I hate magpies.
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